If you make a person happy, then why should he leaves you
Now few things have to be understood, mm? NO RELATIONSHIP CAN BE SECURE. It is not the nature of relationships to be secure. AND IF ANY RELATIONSHIP IS SECURE, IT WILL LOSE ALL ATTRACTION. So this is a
problem for the mind. IF YOU WANT TO ENJOY A RELATIONSHIP, IT HAS TO BE INSECURE. If you make it completely secure, absolutely secure, then you cannot enjoy it -- it loses all charm, all attraction. The mind cannot
be satisfied either with this or with that, so it is always in conflict and chaos. It wants a relationship which is alive and secure.
This is impossible, because an alive person or an alive relationship or ANYTHING WHICH IS ALIVE, HAS TO BE UNPREDICTABLE. What is going to happen in the next moment cannot be forecast. And because it is unpredictable, this moment becomes intense. YOU HAVE TO LIVE THIS MOMENT AS TOTALLY AS POSSIBLE because the next moment may not come ever. You may not be there, the other may not be there. Or you may both be there, but the
relationship is not. All possibilities remain open. The future remains always open. THE PAST IS ALWAYS CLOSED, THE FUTURE IS ALWAYS OPEN.
And in between the two is the present, a single moment of present, always trembling, shaking. But this is how life is. THE SHAKING AND THE TREMBLING ARE PART OF BEING ALIVE -- the hesitation, the cloudiness, the vagueness. The past is closed. Everything has happened and now nothing can be changed, so everything is absolutely closed. The future is absolutely open, nothing can be predicted. And between the two is the present, with one step in the past, one in the future. SO THE MIND ALWAYS REMAINS IN A DICHOTOMY, in a divided state. It is always split, it is always schizophrenic. The understanding that is needed is that: THIS IS HOW THINGS ARE AND NOTHING CAN BE DONE ABOUT IT.
If you want to have a very secure relationship, then you will have to love a dead man; but then you will not enjoy it. That's what happens to a lover when he becomes a husband: A HUSBAND IS A DEAD LOVER, A WIFE IS A DEAD
LOVER. The past has become all, and now the past decides the future. In fact if you are a wife you don't have a future; only the past will go on repeating itself, all the doors are closed. If you are a husband then you don't have a future; then YOU ARE CONFINED, IN AN IMPRISONMENT. SO SECURITY IS SOUGHT CONTINUOUSLY BUT WHEN YOU FIND IT, YOU GET FED UP WITH IT. Look at the faces of husbands and wives... They have found the security -- the much-sought-after security -- and now everything is in their bank balance, and the law and the court and the constable are allthere to make everything secure. But now the whole charm, the wholepoetry, is lost; ROMANCE IS NO LONGER THERE. Now they are dead people, they are simply repeating the past; they live in memories.
Listen to wives and husbands talking. The wife goes on saying that the husband doesn't love her as he used to; and they go on talking about past moments, their honeymoon and other things. What nonsense! You are still alive. This moment can be a honeymoon! THIS MOMENT CAN BE LIVED, BUT YOU ARE TALKING OF THE PAST, TRYING TO REPEAT IT. SECURITY NEVER SATISFIES, AND IN INSECURITY THERE IS FEAR -- fear that the relationship
can be lost. But that is part of being alive. Everything can be lost, nothing is certain -- and that's why everything is so beautiful. And that's why you need not postpone for a single moment. IF YOU WANT TO LOVE A PERSON, LOVE HIM HERE NOW. Love him, because nobody knows what is going to happen in the next moment. The next moment there may be no possibility for love, and then you will repent for the whole of your life.
You could have loved, you could have lived. Then remorse surrounds a person; repentance and a deep guilt is felt -- as if you have been committing suicide. LIFE IS UNCERTAIN. No one can make it certain, there is no way to make it certain. And it is good that nobody can make it certain, otherwise it would be dead. LIFE IS FRAGILE, DELICATE,
ALWAYS MOVING INTO THE UNKNOWN -- that's its beauty. One needs to be courageous, adventurous. One needs to be a gambler to move with life -- so be a gambler. LIVE THIS MOMENT, AND LIVE IT TOTALLY. When the next moment comes, we will see -- you will be there to tackle it. As you have been able to tackle the past, you will be able to tackle the future also. And you will be more capable because you will be more experienced. So it is not a question of whether Veeresh (her boyfriend) is going to be there the next moment. The question is that IF HE IS AVAILABLE TO YOU IN THIS MOMENT, LOVE HIM. Don't waste this moment in thinking and worrying about the future, because this is suicidal. DON'T PAY A SINGLE THOUGHT TO THE FUTURE -- because nothing can be done about it, so it is
a sheer wastage of energy.
Love this man and be loved by him. This is my understanding: that if you live this moment totally, there is every possibility that in the next moment the person may be still available. I say MAYBE. I can't promise you -- maybe. But the possibility is more because the next moment is going to come out of this one. IF YOU HAVE LOVED THE MAN AND THE MAN FEELS BLESSED, and the relationship has been a beautiful experience, an ecstasy, THEN WHY HE
SHOULD LEAVE YOU? In fact if you go on worrying, you are making him, forcing him, to leave you. And if you have wasted this moment, the next moment will come out of this wastage; it is going to be rotten. And that is how one becomes self-predictable. YOU GO ON FULFILLING YOUR OWN PROPHECIES. The next moment you say, 'Yes, I was saying from the very beginning that this relationship was not going to last. Now it is proven.' Then you feel very good in a way; you feel you have been very clever and wise. In fact you have been foolish, because it is not that you predicted anything. You forced this event to happen because you wasted the time that was given to you, the opportunity. SO LOVE HIM AND FORGET ABOUT THE FUTURE. Just drop the whole nonsense of thinking about it. If you can love, love. If you cannot love, forget this man, find somebody else -- but don't waste time.
THE QUESTION IS NOT OF THIS LOVER OR THAT LOVER -- THE QUESTION IS OF LOVE. Love fulfils, people are
just excuses. But the whole thing depends on you, because whatsoever you are doing with Veeresh, you will go on doing with another if you change lovers. So why not try with Veeresh? He is as perfect a man as you can find; a beautiful person with much understanding, and mature in many ways. So love him and MAKE HIM SO HAPPY THAT THE HAPPINESS ITSELF CREATES THE POSSIBILITY OF HIM STAYING. If you make a person happy why he should leave you? But if you make him unhappy then why he should NOT leave you? If you make him unhappy then I will help him to leave you. But if you make him happy, nobody can help him to leave you. Then there is no point; he will fight the whole world for you. SO BECOME MORE HAPPY, mm? USE THE TIME THAT ONE HAS, and there is no need to think about the future. The present is enough. From this very moment, try to live this moment. If he leaves, that's okay. I will find a better man -- forget him. But use this moment not in worrying, but in living. Small things can become so beautiful. A LITTLE CARING, A LITTLE SHARING -- THAT'S ALL LIFE IS. So for one month this is going to be your
meditation: live the moment, AND BRING YOURSELF AGAIN AND AGAIN TO THE PRESENT. Whenever you escape into the future or the past, catch hold, bring yourself back. And for one month, with no worry, not seeking security -- just live. And everything will be okay. Everything is always okay.
OSHO
Hammer On The Rock
Ch #4, a darshan diary
pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium
posted by Subhuti at RiverIIOsho
You could have loved, you could have lived. Then remorse surrounds a person; repentance and a deep guilt is felt -- as if you have been committing suicide. LIFE IS UNCERTAIN. No one can make it certain, there is no way to make it certain. And it is good that nobody can make it certain, otherwise it would be dead. LIFE IS FRAGILE, DELICATE,
ALWAYS MOVING INTO THE UNKNOWN -- that's its beauty. One needs to be courageous, adventurous. One needs to be a gambler to move with life -- so be a gambler. LIVE THIS MOMENT, AND LIVE IT TOTALLY. When the next moment comes, we will see -- you will be there to tackle it. As you have been able to tackle the past, you will be able to tackle the future also. And you will be more capable because you will be more experienced. So it is not a question of whether Veeresh (her boyfriend) is going to be there the next moment. The question is that IF HE IS AVAILABLE TO YOU IN THIS MOMENT, LOVE HIM. Don't waste this moment in thinking and worrying about the future, because this is suicidal. DON'T PAY A SINGLE THOUGHT TO THE FUTURE -- because nothing can be done about it, so it is
a sheer wastage of energy.
Love this man and be loved by him. This is my understanding: that if you live this moment totally, there is every possibility that in the next moment the person may be still available. I say MAYBE. I can't promise you -- maybe. But the possibility is more because the next moment is going to come out of this one. IF YOU HAVE LOVED THE MAN AND THE MAN FEELS BLESSED, and the relationship has been a beautiful experience, an ecstasy, THEN WHY HE
SHOULD LEAVE YOU? In fact if you go on worrying, you are making him, forcing him, to leave you. And if you have wasted this moment, the next moment will come out of this wastage; it is going to be rotten. And that is how one becomes self-predictable. YOU GO ON FULFILLING YOUR OWN PROPHECIES. The next moment you say, 'Yes, I was saying from the very beginning that this relationship was not going to last. Now it is proven.' Then you feel very good in a way; you feel you have been very clever and wise. In fact you have been foolish, because it is not that you predicted anything. You forced this event to happen because you wasted the time that was given to you, the opportunity. SO LOVE HIM AND FORGET ABOUT THE FUTURE. Just drop the whole nonsense of thinking about it. If you can love, love. If you cannot love, forget this man, find somebody else -- but don't waste time.
THE QUESTION IS NOT OF THIS LOVER OR THAT LOVER -- THE QUESTION IS OF LOVE. Love fulfils, people are
just excuses. But the whole thing depends on you, because whatsoever you are doing with Veeresh, you will go on doing with another if you change lovers. So why not try with Veeresh? He is as perfect a man as you can find; a beautiful person with much understanding, and mature in many ways. So love him and MAKE HIM SO HAPPY THAT THE HAPPINESS ITSELF CREATES THE POSSIBILITY OF HIM STAYING. If you make a person happy why he should leave you? But if you make him unhappy then why he should NOT leave you? If you make him unhappy then I will help him to leave you. But if you make him happy, nobody can help him to leave you. Then there is no point; he will fight the whole world for you. SO BECOME MORE HAPPY, mm? USE THE TIME THAT ONE HAS, and there is no need to think about the future. The present is enough. From this very moment, try to live this moment. If he leaves, that's okay. I will find a better man -- forget him. But use this moment not in worrying, but in living. Small things can become so beautiful. A LITTLE CARING, A LITTLE SHARING -- THAT'S ALL LIFE IS. So for one month this is going to be your
meditation: live the moment, AND BRING YOURSELF AGAIN AND AGAIN TO THE PRESENT. Whenever you escape into the future or the past, catch hold, bring yourself back. And for one month, with no worry, not seeking security -- just live. And everything will be okay. Everything is always okay.
OSHO
Hammer On The Rock
Ch #4, a darshan diary
pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium
posted by Subhuti at RiverIIOsho