Go deeper into your hell, one day you will jump out of it‏

[A group member says: My energy tends to be always negative and the positive side is never strong enough to come up. The ego is so strong here. (pointing to his head)]

   It is not strong enough, and YOU HAVE NOT SUFFERED ENOUGH. You need a little more misery. This is the point to understand: IF SOMETHING CREATES MISERY ONE NEVER CARRIES IT. You are still enjoying it. You are saying these things -- that it is negative and ugly, and your energy is lost -- but deep down you are still enjoying it. Otherwise who is forcing you? There is nobody!

    IF YOU FEEL SO MISERABLE, GET OUT OF IT! And don't say that it has become a deep-rooted habit. There is no question of habit. If the house is on fire, you simply run out. You don't say that you have lived in this house for thirty years and it has become such a deep-rooted habit that you can't go out. If you say that, it simply shows that you are not aware that the house has caught fire. You may have heard the rumor, but you cannot see. And you are not true enough to yourself so you accept the word of someone else.

    My suggestion is that you don't try to get out of it, please, until you see the fire. Nothing is wrong in it, enjoy it! When you are doing negative things, enjoy it. WHEN YOU ARE REALLY IN HELL, THEN ANY DAY YOU WILL JUMP OUT OF IT. So if you ask me my advice, I will say GO DEEPER INTO YOUR HELL -- AND GO HAPPILY. Enjoy it and do it consciously. That is all that my teaching is -- to do it consciously. Don't think that you are something wrong -- that is creating a division in you. What is wrong in it? Enjoy it.

    [The participant asks: Hurting other people?]

    But you are enjoying hurting others, so hurt. If they want to hurt you they will; that is for them to decide. You simply enjoy it. And you are enjoying it. Whether I say so or not is not the point, because UNLESS YOU ENJOY A CERTAIN THING YOU CANNOT CONTINUE IT. There is no question of habit or anything.

    It is a simple trick of the mind: that you go on enjoying but you also want to show that you are very wise and that you know that these are very negative things and rubbish, but what can you do? -- you cannot get out of it. That is not true. I can see you enjoy it. I AM NEVER AGAINST ANYTHING. I am for absolutely everything, so just enjoy it.

    [The participant answers: I don't dare, that is my trouble.]

    That's what I was saying -- that your ego is not strong enough! You are not courageous enough. You are not really thinking that you hurt others and you don't want to. YOU ARE A COWARD. You are not worried about others; YOU ARE WORRIED THAT THEY WILL HURT YOU, THAT THEY WILL REACT. So you are hiding under a philosophy, a good philosophy of not wanting to hurt people.

    IN FACT, ALL YOU WANT IS TO HURT BUT NOT TO BE HURT -- that's the whole game. So see it as it is. I may look hard, but I want things to be understood exactly as they are; then one can move very easily.

    You are not the only negative person in the world, and if you don't hurt people, somebody else will. AND NOBODY CAN HURT A MAN WHO IS NOT READY TO BE HURT. There are people who want to hurt, and there are people who want to be hurt, so don't worry about it. SIMPLY ACCEPT YOURSELF.

    I know one day you are going to get out of it, but that is not going to be by your effort. WHEN YOU HAVE CREATED SUCH A HELL AROUND YOU that you cannot live in it a moment longer, THEN YOU WILL JUMP OUT OF IT, leaving no trace on you. That's the only way, so accept it. God must be trying to do some negative things through you. He has chosen you; what can you do? (the group laughs)

    And the effort to try to change yourself is egoistic, so drop all this nonsense and ENJOY YOUR BEING AS YOU ARE. One day suddenly you will understand the whole nonsense of it. I am not saying that it is nonsense. I am saying that you will understand one day. My understanding cannot be yours. I cannot give it to you, and you cannot borrow it from me.

    So I would like you to understand yourself. The only way is to EXPERIENCE THE INTENSITY OF IT. My understanding is this: that IF FROM THE VERY CHILDHOOD EVERY CHILD IS ALLOWED TO BE REALLY ANGRY, ANGER WILL DISAPPEAR FROM THE WORLD. The child will come to know the poison of it for himself. He will feel almost burnt, and he will suffer through it. Nobody wants to suffer, so he will drop the nonsense. Because a child is taught again and again not to be angry, he becomes angry but it is only luke-warm; it is never enough to bring him out of it.

    SO LET THINGS BE AS INTENSE AS POSSIBLE, and then they evaporate of their own accord. Try it! Don't move against yourself. It is perfectly good -- be negative....

    [Another member of the Intensive group said that the first day of the course he felt very negative... Things became progressively better, he said, and now he felt very open... it was very beautiful]

    It has been beautiful. It always has to be that way: FIRST THE NEGATIVE AND THEN THE POSITIVE. If you escape in the negative you miss the whole point -- and you almost missed it. But if you can prolong that period of pain, then a turning is bound to come, BECAUSE EVERY VALLEY HAS A PEAK, EVERY PEAK A VALLEY. Every night has a morning, and the darker the night, the more beautiful will be the morning. So one has to pass through the dark night, the negative part, where hate and anger and all aspects of negativity arise.

    This is what is meant by austerity. This is what is meant by being courageous enough to hope against hope, to go on and on and on -- till suddenly the turning point comes. One never knows when it will come. One never knows the bottom of one's negativity, but WHEN YOU HAVE TOUCHED THE BOTTOM, SUDDENLY YOU ARE MOVING UPWARDS AGAIN.

    It has been really good. You were fortunate that you did not drop out, because when the positive comes it is tremendously beautiful and blissful. Now try to carry it on back home.

    Once a month take twenty-four hours for an Intensive. Go on asking yourself the question, and you will pass through the same cycle from negativity to positivity. It will be faster now, AND BY AND BY WITHIN SECONDS YOU WILL BE ABLE TO PASS FROM THE NEGATIVE TO THE POSITIVE -- because you have become efficient in diving immediately to the bottom, and you know the bottom so you are not afraid in any way.

    So try to continue it. This is going to help you tremendously on your path. Once a month at least, give twenty-four hours to it, and this time will become your most cherished.

OSHO
Hammer on the Rock
Ch #16
pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

posted by Subhuti at RiverIIOsho